Saturday, March 10, 2012

Sagely Advice: My Homie is Homo

    Gay people. They're everywhere. I must hide. I'll run away to Prague, no one will disturb me but James. Bow-chicka-wow-WOW!
    WISDOM of the DAY: Don't get hung up on one person (no matter what Madonna tells you), once you move on, it's so liberating! I know, I know. It's easier said than done. But take it from someone who knows.
    I finally, after a year of having a crush on a friend, have at last gotten over them. Shockingly enough, I found myself to be a lot more pleasant person after I came to this realization. This surprised me, considering I never thought of myself as someone who would act love-sick, and let it affect their behavior, but evidently it did. So my advice to the world is, if it's not going anywhere, try your luck with someone else..... or just marry your cat.

    So eat a lot, laugh obnoxiously, chew with your mouth open, sing off-tune, publicly check to see if you zipped your fly, and GET OVER THAT PERSON WHO YOU'RE HUNG UP ON!

Your faithful blogster, Jacob.